Experiences of the dying and those around them, are profound. Many people describe encounters with loved ones on the other side and those who stay by the bedside of a dying individual, also have profound experiences. What do the dying see on their deathbed?
Witnessing deathbed visions
On more than one occasion, family members have shared with me what their loved ones were saying weeks, days, moments before transitioning. Occasionally, I was the one witnessing their descriptive deathbed visions.
I receive emails from people all over the globe who want to tell me their stories. When I asked for permission to share the following email, she replied, “You are welcome to share this with anyone who could benefit from it dear, after all, helping and loving is the reason we are here, isn’t it.”
Bless her!
My late Mother had a near death experience. She had a heart attack and crashed three times. She spoke of colors and music unlike anything here on earth and of beautiful beings and peace and didn’t want to come back. My Father, before he died, was very afraid. Until one day I visited him at the nursing home and I noticed he seemed different. He told me that Jesus came and sat on the side of his bed and told him not to be afraid and that he would come for him and take him home. He lost all fear after that. He said to me, “We will meet again in God’s garden and everything will be wonderful.”
Then she said, quite clearly, ‘No, not yet’
Another person gave me permission to share his story:
My Mum had a terrible final six months of life before she died. She ended up having a severe stroke which left her more or less immobile and she spent the last five weeks of her life in a hospital bed. As a result of the stroke, she was unconscious most of the time, growing ever weaker because she couldn’t swallow enough food to stay alive. She was put on what was called the Liverpool Pathway, which is palliative care.
When it was clear the end was approaching, my sister, wife and I decided we would take turns staying 24/7 with Mum in the hospital because she always said she didn’t want to die alone. Four days before she died, I was staying with her overnight. She was physically very weak at that point, had been unconscious for a long time and didn’t respond in any meaningful way to our voices or touch.
About 2 A.M. her eyes suddenly opened real wide and a big smile came across her face. She tried to lift herself up, held her right arm out and waved towards the corner of the room which was dimly lit at the time. I could see her lips moving, like she was talking to someone but there were no words coming out. Then she said, quite clearly, ‘No, not yet’ and then, after a short pause, ‘Bye’, before closing her eyes and falling back into unconsciousness.
I want to stress that up to this point she hadn’t been able to move unless the nurses moved her and certainly hadn’t spoken proper words for a long time. Two days later, I was staying overnight again and, at around the same time, the same thing happened. This time she said, ‘Hi ya’, and then ‘Yes’. Mum died the next day.
I decided to tell my sister about what had happened. I hadn’t done so previously because she was an emotional wreck and I didn’t want to upset her even more. She went very quiet and told me that she had had the same experience when she overnighted with Mum between my two experiences.
Mum wasn’t on any sedation or painkillers when this happened and neither of us saw any sign of what she was seeing. I don’t know who came for her on each of those three occasions and why she wanted to hold on the first time. Maybe she just wanted to spend time a little longer with her family around her.
I always pay attention to those dear patients sharing their deathbed visions and honor them. For indeed it is an honor to be there with them.
Sensing a deathbed transition
Another noteworthy email arrived from someone who was curious if anyone had written to me about having an experience like he had when a family member was in transition. He said that when his family member was dying, he was with him in those last hours at the hospital and that when he did die, he experienced a feeling he had never felt before. He realized that even though his back was turned away from the bed, he knew the moment had come and could ‘feel’ exactly when he had passed.
Even stranger, was what he saw when he turned around. He said it was a misty smoke-like substance, not in the shape of a body exactly, but that it rose very slowly. He even asked another family member in the room if they saw it too. But they said they didn’t. He continued to watch the smoke-like substance rise towards the ceiling and within seconds, it vanished. He said it was a lovely feeling to see it but others thought he was hallucinating. I was quick to reassure him that he was not, in my estimation, hallucinating. But I feel like he was given a special gift of seeing his loved one’s spirit rise to return to the other side.
Glimpses of Eternity
Why do some people witness deathbed visons and others don’t? I do not know. Raymond Moody’s book Glimpses of Eternity is a collection of stories that many have shared with him about their experiences with loved ones at the time of their transition. I had patients who would speak of others coming to assist them as they crossed over: angels, family members, ‘beings’. While I didn’t see them, I believed them and respectfully listened to them but never told them they were hallucinating.
You may one day experience sitting at the bedside or be the one in the bed. It is holy ground, in my opinion. Truly an honor to be there either way. We are all going to cross over one day and we are all, more than likely, going to be with someone in transition. You may even want to record your loved one’s last words.
Bless you as you continue this awesome gift of life. One patient told me that even if we live to be 110 years old, it goes by fast!
