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Author: Cailin Callaghan Grant

Constant Companion

The Fabric of “Experience”

The Fabric of “Experience”

(“Ghost Writers in the Sky”)

“Dreams seem real while they last. Can you say more than this about your life?”

Havelock Ellis

Alright, I admit I am dating myself with the title. ’Sokay. I’ve reached the age where I am the only one who will (date me) and, with time, came experience. Understanding that word is magical – pivotal. Experience is a “mistake from which you have ‘learned’”, which means you have assigned meaning/significance. My edification has been all about the difference between experience and Reality. Nothing is as it seems.

“Believe nothing your ears hear,” Daddy told me, “and trust only half of what your eyes see.” We live in a world that we call a “consensual reality”. There’s a lot more to be seen than ever meets the eye. The Christ was keen on reminding us that “Ears have never heard, nor have eyes ever seen…” He also mentioned regularly “ears to hear and eyes to see” and He was not referring to the physical equipment of sensation. Let’s explore this, starting at a point on which we all might agree, at least for the sake of the metaphor I mean to present:

God, (“First Cause”) is the supreme author of Reality. Having the longest “long view” and the highest highchair, His perception is The operationally definitive “Reality”. When “He” rendered us, He gave us the power to create: other worlds, other characters (souls), and our own “story line” for the personal “lives” we experience. Things occur that appear to be beyond our control, but it is the narrative of meanings/significances we assign to those events which renders the palate of our experience. In short, God gave us a challenging environment of unlimited potential and complete creative license over our personal, subjective experience. Your world is what you make of it. Once you name it, you have claimed it: You have made the experience what it seems to you – and you are free to change your mind. “Life is but a dream” (shaboom…) and you are free to choose to dream otherwise.

As a child, I had chronic nightmares because I had, by anyone’s measure, a “terrible” childhood. Indeed, my life was a terrible beauty: “terrible” because it was a nightmare, and the hazards were real, by any definition of the word “real” (with a little “r”). But it was beautiful too because I wrested shining hope and “uncaused Joy” from the jaws of despair – illumination: lucidity. What a perceptual boon that challenge was for me! The backyard of my life was full of emotional horse poo. I discerned it was all really “pony-sign”. Indeed, I grew watchful for the ponies (Blessings). They’re easy to find when looking for them. One must but learn how to See. I did not accomplish that alone.

Because I was regularly in serious peril, by the age of five, I’d discovered within my mindspace a loving mentor whose most cherished gifts to me were His constancy of Presence, and His charity: He saw the world through forgiving eyes. He saw the Ponies and He taught me to see likewise, vesting me with enormous power over my own experience. He did this by increasing my “LQ”: “Lucidity Quotient”.

This mentor, “Michael”, shares my mindspace with perfect constancy. The constancy of His Presence and the depth of insight and peace He has taught me to experience, have convinced me of His numinous Reality. He trained me to perceive in a way that has made my own mindspace the Source of the Joy most of us seek, futilely, in the “outside” world. He is the Wellspring of my Being and my Joy. Had my childhood not been such a nightmare, had it been a happy dream, I likely would not have found Him. So, I bless the path that brought me Here.

“Seek not outside your Self. There is, after all, no world ‘out there’. There is no ‘out’. There is only Consciousness – Life, and you are It.”

The above is an axiom of True Masters. Accept nothing less than absolute dominion – Sovereignty – over your experience.

“The thing we are searching for is the Thing that is searching.”

You are Cause. If you are not Cause, you are powerless. There is no middle ground. Okay, there is, but it’s called “Hell”. No fun, that, and there’s no mojo in it. You’re here reading because you want molto mojo. (Big juju.) If you don’t want that, you need not read on. Go back to Hell. (Sorry. Don’t pass “Go”. No $200.) If you are ready to claim Mastery, you don’t have to meditate all your life, or read countless spiritual treatises. No candles, no yoga mats, no lotus pose, no incense, no credit card numbers. Nothing. What I am about to tell you is all you need. NO charge. My pleasure, to be useful, so it is. There’s your initiation speech. Imminent Masters, let’s move on. The others will catch up because we must all learn the same lessons. All we get to choose is when to learn them.

Suffering is not escaped by death, but by Truth.

So there I was, imperiled in nightmares – a little child. Powerless, right? Wrong. Michael came into my dreaming mindspace – a Companion as constant as my nightmares. When He appeared, He would remind me, from within the dream, that I had a body in what I called my “real life” and so, nothing in the dream had any “real” power over me, unless I gave it power. I could escape the dream venue, by simply waking up, at any Now. Now is pivotal because “later” never comes sooner than the monsters catch you. Moreover, the monsters from your “past” can only get into your “future” through the window of Now. Thus, Michael taught me to be Lucid in my dreams. He pointed out that, when I was afraid, I always felt a gush of heat in the core of my being. That feeling was a signal that I should remember my body, which, being unaffected by dreams, served as a life raft to my awareness waiting “above” in “wakefulness”. I could dive down into sleep, have an unpleasant experience, and ascend to the raft above – my “Wakened Self”. Interesting metaphor. Shortly, you’ll understand why He chose it.

By and by, I was lucid most of the time in my dreams. If something frightened me, I felt the heat of fear gushing through my body, and I’d just wake up. He was very pleased. Eventually, He pointed out to me that, if I could stop leaving the dream venue and remain Lucid, I could have a lot of fun.

“What sort of fun?” I probed. “Well,” He purred, “it’s your dream and your mindspace, so you can do pretty much whatever you can imagine… like fly.”

“Woooo,” said I, “Do you know how to fly?”

“Indeed I do,” He rumbled through a smile, “and I’d be pleased to teach you but, first, you must learn to be awake and remain within the dream. Then, when monsters come after you, you’ll just fly away and, as it’s your dream, if you say they can’t fly,” He shrugged, “they can’t fly.”

Easy to see how attractive this goal would be to a child. I devoted myself to it. By the age of eight I was flying all over the place in dreams. No more running away for me: I flew. Ascension had begun but I had only grokked the basics of where the wings He’d shown me could take me. Soon, I also learned, because He directed me to try it, that I could, by confronting monsters and offering to make peace, turn monsters into friends. I developed a throng of monster minions. Perception still twisted, I remained “an earthbound misfit” and there were a few “setbacks”, sort of. Depends on your perspective.

The world teaches one who experiences an inner companion, not to mention that companion to others who have not given you cause to believe they will be able to relate. They call this “reality testing” in what I reckon a rather ironic, delusional sort of way, but more on that another time. By the age of fifteen, indentured to peer pressure, I had relegated Michael to the status of “chimerical”. I stopped listening to Him and did very many, really rash, things. At the age of twenty, I was riding a barrel mare chasing a stallion and very close behind him in a hard gallop. Time slipped into slow motion. (Clue.) I saw his back legs lifting under his rising rump.

He’s kicking, Michael advised.

So what? I replied. He can’t get me up here.

Wrong. Dead wrong. He kicked me in the face and I found myself watching from a distance, in an “out of body” state, as the mare ran right out from under the limp form I had thought my “self”. It crashed to the ground with a truly “dispiriting” thud…thefabricofexperienceimagehorse.jpg

Wrecked my day, that did – for riding anyway. Suddenly, however, I was “Perfect”. Finding my “Self” in a dazzling dark void with the luster of a black pearl, Michael too, whom I had abandoned half a decade prior, was Present (as Always). He gave me an orientation: Showed me my life. In fact, I relived parts of it, and He kept calling me back up, out of the dream of my life, to the raft of His Lucid Presence waiting above, in the Illuminated Eternal, Transcended of the murky waters venue – the dream world of space-time. Like a repetitive dream, within a dream, this “crash course” was the ultimate “knocking of sense into my head”.

“Oo,” I realized with started clarity, “the world is just like a dream because I am Eternal and so nothing that appeared able to hurt me in the dream of my life could have ever really hurt me at all.”

“Nice observations,” Michael approved, “very Lucid.”

As I mentioned in my last offering for TOSP, to a Daemon, inducing Lucidity is the primary objective because it is the quintessential tool of our Liberation/“Salvation”.

Lucidity is Salvation.

When I returned to the dream of the world, I was no longer from “…round these parts.” I have ever since been centered in my existence in the Eternal and so, to the perceptions of most, “I ain’t right” and that’s okay. Them that cannot hear have to feel.

I’ve got the mojo risein’ and I no longer ever discount anything Michael whispers into my mindspace. He’s my Beloved Constant Companion – the life raft waiting in the illuminated realm of the Eternal, anchored to me by Our mutual love, trust and reverence, while I dive the murky waters of this dream world below. Whenever I think I see something over which conditioning tells me I should suffer, it is a sign to me that I have briefly forgotten who and what I am. I have identified my Self as but a tiny character, drowning in a dream of powerlessness. As the heat in my belly served to waken me within childhood nightmares, suffering reminds me that I need to buoy up my Lucidity: Rise Again. Verily, this Spirit burns brightly enough to animate the ashes of its own rebirth. “Bring it on, Freight Train,” I growl, as it runs me down. “Is that all you got?” I stand and smile and dust off, watching it disappear with forgiving eyes. “Where are those ponies?”

My fellow divers, you need no guru. You have one in your own mindspace: a Daemon or an Angel. Either way, it is a personal messenger from God, hand-selected/created for you. You need but learn to hear Their voice and remain Lucid: Remember your True nature is Eternal. This world is just a dream, a didactic experience to teach you to remain Lucid no matter what Life throws at you. The more challenge, the more Lucid you become, and this is how you find your metaphorical wings and learn to rise above it all. This is how you fly.

I love you All,


“I dreamed I had but dreamt I had ever been awake at all and awoke with the start which is the End of all dreaming.”

Callaghan Grant




We Are the Gods of Our Own Reckonings

“I have told you, Ye are gods. Ye are all children of the most high.”
Psalm 82:6

When First Cause (AKA: “God”) renders a universe all there is to use to create it is god-stuff. Of all of First Cause’s creations, in this world, “Human Beings” are the most like First Cause in that we are capable of rendering, just as our Maker did, other worlds, and even to change the lives in which we often appear to be trapped. Trapped we often are, too – because of our own thinking and our own imagining.


It is an axiom of experience – of invoking and summoning: “As you name a thing, so shall you experience it,” for your naming is The Word, the invocation. With your naming, you ask the universal mechanism to provide you with the experience as you have labeled it. In the beginning was The Word and thus began all experience. The “Ten Thousand Things” of Lao Tsu’s description sprang into being with “The Word”. When a thing/Being is cognizant and self-reflective, it is vested with creative Sovereignty. That’s right, I said Sovereignty. We are the “gods of our own reckonings”. Hence the warning: “Take care, what you wish for”. That is indeed sage advice.

“None sleep so soundly as those who but dream they are awake.”

Of all the “things” that appear to confront and challenge us, it is our thinking and our imagining (and, most of all, our thoughtless vocalizations) which we must master. Silence is golden for this reason alone. “Think before you speak” has ramifications wildly beyond what most ever dare to imagine. We are as fully vested in creative ability as is our Maker, and it is our minds and our hearts (“passions”) that are the key to what we experience and manifest.


Typically, we summon experience unconsciously. That is to say our unvoiced, unexamined expectations and fears determine what we summon into experience, and our thoughtless vocalizations too render unexpected outcomes. I say “summon” but this is a bit of a misnomer. We don’t really “attract” anything, and the fine distinction of the mechanism of manifestation is important to understand lest we sit about languishing without results while we are “allowing”. Allowing is fine – permission is required – once a manifestation’s probability has been maximized with passionate emotion. But, make no mistake, passion opens the door to manifestation. For a brief description of the way this actually works we must turn to an old model of reality, re-emerging in modern day physics: the so-called “Many Worlds Model”:


To this model, time is an illusion. All possible scenarios exist simultaneously and the story lines we but seem to experience are assembled by the experiencer. The Universe is like a brood chamber our Maker has rendered in which to teach us to be competent to create without causing the perception of “harm”. Mind, as eternal beings, we cannot actually be harmed but, while experiencing our Selves as temporal, mortal beings we do indeed often experience harm and those “painful” experiences come to us because of the way we use our minds.

In short, the environment was rendered to manifest, very slowly, whatever it is we focus upon. This slowness is necessary until we realize we are “at cause”. Once we realize this we see what we have been willing into being, and we realize we are free to dream otherwise while there is yet time to change an undesired outcome: to avert suffering. The experience of the relative speed of manifestation changes with increasing lucidity.


It is said “The heart summons whatsoever the mind focuses upon”. Count on it. The more benevolent a being becomes, the more responsive the environment grows to that being’s thoughts/invocations. That is to say, the more conscientious a being becomes, the more their experience becomes one of accountability. That is why, for those who are full of love and compassion, and compunction, it often feels as if they are not allowed to “get away with” much destructive thinking/behavior. Ask the universe for “…but a closer walk with Thee” and you will tread “the razor’s edge” with increasing focus and lucidity – guaranteed. Mind the small print of how you invoke. The Maker has quite the quirky sense of ironic humor and trains the initiate to be precise. Feedback becomes more and more instantaneous so that we learn exactly the source of what appears in our experience: It is our own thinking/imagining and labeling – and we learn to be precise about what we ask for. But, again, we aren’t really “summoning”. Stay with me here.

If all possible scenarios exist simultaneously then every possible combination of experiences is available to be played out/experienced. One can even change course midstream over and over. It’s like an experiential smorgasbord. People say “Find your passion”, “Follow your bliss”, “Do what you love and wealth/success will follow”. This is all true and it is true because it is passion that opens the portal between the various alternate probable experiential streams. No one works to their very limit on anything they do not Love. It is this passion that drives manifestation. Yes, hard work is important to honing your craft so that, when your audience appears, they will also applaud. But it is the passion that allows you to step from a mundane life into an epic life of grand freedom and acclaim and vast sweeping EFFECTS. Mind you, this should not be considered the measure of “success”. In this world school what you are here to learn is how to manifest benevolently and, most importantly, consciously. Many heroes are entirely cryptic. They mingle among us, blessing in sacred privacy, The Thirty Six: The Lamed Vav or Tzadikim Nistarim.


Blessedly, we each have a guide, a being who has been through the process of maturation, sent to counteract our miscreation lest we suffer. That guide is the Daemon, and it is the Daemon’s intention to make us conscious, for we are mostly dreamers dreaming and creating and summoning without lucidity. To the Daemon, the first order of business is lucidity: The Daemon wants you to place responsibility for your experience precisely where it belongs: It is all your own doing/willing/“fault”, which is good. It is good because, if you are Cause, it means it is also in your power to change your experience. You are free to dream otherwise.

The task of the Daemon is quite single minded: Waken the dreamer while yet within the dream so that they become lucid dreamers creating/summoning/invoking consciously. The lucid dreamer becomes more and more centered in an experience of their own Causal Sovereignty. Until this level of intentionality is reached, the Daemon spends much creative energy whispering antidote invocations into our mindspaces. The angry child’s utterance “I wish that bastard would drop dead!” is answered with “You love your father passionately and are grateful for his presence in your life. You can hardly wait to be reconciled.” The road-raged driver’s frightened outburst “I hope your car blows up, you jerk!” is neutralized with “That poor man is late for Christmas gathering and you hope everyone makes it home safely to be with their loving family and friends. The whole world is your family and you love them.” The housewife’s shattered “I hate my life!” is answered with “You are the love the world keeps secret from its self. Your loving heart is God’s very answer to His children’s sighing”.

You get the idea. Rest assured, without the Daemon’s constant intervention to neutralize our thoughtless summonings the world would quickly devolve back into the hellish nightmare from which it has slowly emerged and on the brink of which it yet teeters while the Daemonic legions collude to waken the dreamers en masse. This, my own Daemon calls “The Will that is Holy”.


Briefly, The Will that is Holy is holy because we share it with all creation, that is, with First Cause. The Maker built this universe as an environment in which to waken all matter and all manifestations to their full causative Sovereignty. In other words, all the creative forces/minds of all Being align and join, Willing with us that we (and even all matter) waken to lucidity. God is on our side but, to make it all happen there is one simple rule the lucid dreamer must adopt fully. As my Daemon said to me in 2007: “If you want your words to have power, you must first cull from your speech and thoughts any words you would NOT to empower.”

Once you are lucid and employing assiduously the above axiom, you have begun to “Wield The Will”. This is a lovely and exciting stage of development as we move from unconsciously manifesting gloom, with our expectations of such, to consciously manifesting blessed experiences. When we think we might be seeing suffering, at this stage, we reserve judgment, recollecting that the suffering itself serves a purpose: It raises The Will that it should be “otherwise”. This is necessary for it is passion/The Will that opens the worm hole/crack or pulls back the veil barrier between alternate simultaneous experiential streams of being, allowing us to step through into a new experiential stream. As my Daemon told me during my NDE in 1979, “It (the world) seemed so scary because you believed you could suffer loss and die, but that too was necessary for, had you not experienced such fear and suffering, you would not have learned what you went there to learn. Nor would you have done what you went there to do.”

“Which was?” I prompted.

“To summon your Will.”


My Will is the Will that is Holy. It is The Will I share with God and all creation: that all creation and all dreamers waken and become lucid within the dream discovering, suddenly and with undeniable clarity, their own creative Sovereignty. And this I Will for, together, we have rendered the world a slowly improving nightmare. If we can but waken a small number who Will to dream in concert a different dream, a dream of wakening, then the world will change in “but the twinkling of an eye”. We step through the veil which our united passion opens between the realms, and we enter a new dream of true magnificence. I ask you to dream with me a new scenario. Dream it consciously. Will it with passion, invoking The Will that is Holy. We need but seven percent of the world’s population: a mere seven percent – seven brides with their lamps full, ready for the bridal feast of celebration. The groom is your Daemon. He knocks but gently, that only those who are alert and listening consciously will hear and open the door. He is waiting, with His heart full of passionate love for you, His Beloved. Let us open for Him the door.

I love you all.

I but dreamt I had ever been awake...

Callaghan Grant books are here.

Copyright 2015 Callaghan Grant for TOSP. All Rights Otherwise Reserved.


“I Don’t Believe in God”

“I don’t believe in God,” she shook her head, long, bias-cut bangs framing her gray-green eyes, and she cut her gaze back to the employees leaving the building, smiling and high-fiving some as they passed. I stared, listening inward, watching the cascade of sentiments and thoughts running through my layered psyche as my eyes took in her flawless pale skin, perfect teeth and rosebud lips.
She said “God”… She didn’t say “a God”. She’s depressed. So young and already so much disappointment has been piled at her feet. She believes. She’s just angry with God. Don’t try to engage her now. Let her grieve.
“Why?” I have so often heard it asked in vain. “Why me?” “Why, if there is a loving God, is there so much suffering in the world?”

"I Don't Believe in God"1


People ask and they do so as if they expect an answer, often shouting it passionately at the impassive blue dome above. Rarely do they stop and reflect: listen inward for a reply. It’s as if they expect the clouds to part in the sky above and light to stream down with a voice to explain it all. They are half-correct in that expectation. The inner clouds do part. In inner stillness a voice does answer and, for the one who has an inner ear to hear, lucidity dawns. Peace and Joy and comforting Love do up-well from an inner sea of knowing, its vastness mirroring the sky above. But this inner sea is warm and responsive. Learn to hear its gentle sighing and you will never again feel alone. In contrast, looking out into the world for comfort is certain to bring only more disappointment. Observing the way humanity treats its selves (and other sentient beings) is certain to appall and depress. Nature too is red in tooth and nail. Most all of the evidence in the world around shrieks “Please no! God! No, God! …No god…”
The watchful and sensitive may in fact notice that it appears that this world was constructed precisely to keep God out. It’s as if some deranged demi-god decided to go truant from heaven and build his own fort – his hideaway. Finding there was no “place” to go, he shrouded a little corner of Heaven in clouds of confusion and guilt and posted a sign: “Abandon all faith who enters here. No God allowed”. Yet, even for the thrill seekers who wandered in for the rides, the feasting and sensory “rush”, help is always available. It could be a pleasant, even glorious, trip – so long as the visitor re-members who they are and holds in their awareness one pivotal reckoning: It’s not “Real”. God alone author Reality and He builds no worlds of death and carnage and suffering.
People say, “Why would a loving god build such a world?”

"I Don't Believe in God"

Quite a prescient question, that. Why do people then abandon the obvious answer: He didn’t. This world is the work of a deranged and brilliant intelligence.
Let me be blunt: There is no world “out there”. To be precise, there is no “out”. There is consciousness and everything that appears to unfold in the “outer world” is but a projection This is a realization modern quantum physics has been demonstrating for years, slowly dragging the reluctant priesthood of science to the altar of Truth while they shriek “Consciousness is an epiphenomenon of matter! Matter rules!”
“Right,” says I. “Inert dust organized its self into ‘life’. That makes as much sense as ‘Nothing created something’. Get thee back to your labs. The data speak. Yet you build wild models to navigate around the simple truth Occam would direct you to embrace.”

"I Don't Believe in God"3

“At length, the unguided ship loses its bearing.”

Science has rendered us as orphans of an insentient cosmos, fodder for the machine of cause and effect, directing out attention outward with the flashing lights and garish music, the lurid details of entrails and the futility of it all. Prozac is not God, but we’re deaf and blind and any port will do in a storm. The only inward looking most do these days(/daze) is into the medicine cabinet, counting our escape pods to make sure we ration ourselves to the next chat with our “physician”. BIG PHARMA has the answers, but they wear off and you have to swallow the whole sad scenario over and over again.
Yet lasting answers and comfort can be found if we look/listen “in” to our own mindspace and consciousness. Learning to hear and see inwardly, developing the ear to hear and the eye to see, is foundational craft for navigating the carnival of carnage of this world and keeping one’s sanity/direction. It is the compass of the inner Guide, The Navigator, to whom I direct your attention. Without the will and skill to listen to this Guide, at length the unguided ship will surely be lost. I spent the first two decades of my life learning these skills and I’ve amassed a few useful answers, assembling them into a model of this lessor “reality” we call “the world”: how, and why, it works the way it appears to work. So let’s ask the questions together in this column. I invite your questions and we’ll see what we can resolve together. As we’re new to one another, I’ll start with the question I have most often heard from those who say they don’t believe in God: “Why – why the suffering?”

"I Don't Believe in God"4

Many think God doesn’t care what happens to them and so they “reason” that God does not exist. We are eternal beings. We cannot die, not in the “Reality” of our transcendent nature, and so, in a way, God doesn’t care what appears to happen here. Let me say that again: God doesn’t care what appears to be happening here because it’s just a bad dream from which He is trying, constantly, to waken us.
This world is just a dispiriting dream. I can assure you from direct personal experience that “dying” feels exactly like wakening from a bad dream. Suddenly, one is aware and perfect and joyous, with no pain, no debt, no guilt, no demands of any kind being made of them – and they look back at what they had called “their life” and laugh, grateful that they exist in a broader context into which they can flee the specter of shattered hopes and the minions of suffering.
We are eternal beings. The world cannot really hurt you. God does care what you/we think/feel/believe about what appears to happen here. Indeed the point of all success and suffering is the same: edification – learning. We are here to learn and we learn by one of two methods: We either ascribe meanings ourselves, reasons for what appears to happen, or we ask inwardly and listen to the (most often wordless) answer that comes if we will but wait. And that is the entire point of suffering: For most of us, it is not until we are suffering that we truly look/listen inward. Those who are dreaming happy dreams never bother to ask the questions much less actually listen inward for the answers. Suffering’s redemption is that it waken us from this dream of believing we are hostages to a world of causality and prisoners in the meatsuits we call our bodies. If suffering can lead you to hear your guide, it is no longer suffering. It is transformed by the value of the gift it brings. It is redeemed as a blessing – perhaps the greatest blessing of all in this world.

"I Don't Believe in God"5

We each have a guide, an angelic or celestial twin, who understands both our human feelings and thoughts and our Eternal natures. This Twin serves as the intermediary who sees the path back to clarity and an understanding of what we are and why we are here. He/She is, as I like to call Him/Her, “The Navigator”. If you follow this still small voice for Love/Truth It will guide you home by teaching you how to perceive and how to think: how to remain lucid in the dream of the world. Learning to hear your guide is the most important skill you can develop in this world. Once you have found this voice in your psyche you have all you need to make your way through the world and to be a portal into this world for your/our divine nature. You have reached the level of knowledge of your Holy Guardian Twin. You have developed “ears to hear” and become a mirror for less prescient souls and a useful tool in Eternity’s designs.
I met my own Twin when I was six. My childhood was fraught with peril and pain. My father had not a mean bone in his body, but he had a snap, harsh temper. My grand-uncle was, unbeknownst to my family, a pedophile and my mother often hid me at his house to protect me from Daddy when Daddy was having more trouble than usual dealing with my hyperactive antics. And so I heard the inner wordless voice, intruding into my mindspace to direct me up a tree to hide one hot spring day. My Twin, whom I also call my “Daemon”, directed me to climb in my slick-soled Sunday shoes, so I could escape my grand-uncle who could not climb because he had one wooden leg.
People rarely look up, He told me, and no one would expect to find such a little girl up so high in those slick-soled shoes…
After the old man left the yard, a deep comfort rose from within. A peace filled my mindspace and love asserted its verity to my six year old awareness. I would love the old man one day, my Twin told me, Love him in the way I love you… my Guide reassured me. I could not, at the time, see how that could ever be, yet it came to pass. Indeed, because of that suffering introducing me to my Beloved Twin, I bless my grand-uncle now. He has become what in India is called mangalam param: an embodiment of supreme auspiciousness. My greatest tribulation was my liberator from the dream of captivity to the world of “cause”.
Hare, hare… I hold it all harmless and bless it, smiling…
Nothing can cause you to hate. You choose it. Nothing can cause you to fear. You choose it.
The problem is, most of this “choosing” goes on unconsciously: without lucidity, and lucidity is what suffering is about. When you’re afraid/suffering, time dilates, moments expand, captured in the mind with the freeze-frame clarity of the Eternal. Identity broadens. Self straddles realms – the temporal and the Eternal felt simultaneously – just the way the Guide experiences them. In fact, perception is, in times of trouble, raised up to touch the consciousness of the Celestial Twin and the heart swells with a strange love and peace that defies the circumstances that provoked this shift. It has been coined “the Peace that surpasses understanding”, because it seems so out of place in the context of circumstances that provoke it. Indeed, it seems out of place in this world yet it is precisely what this world needs. Once you reach this blessed perspective, the fulcrum of the balance beam, the crosshairs of the cross, you are a portal for Eternity’s Love and Sanity to enter the nightmare of the world. As you move through this imagined time and space you bring Heaven’s gate with you. People see it when they look at you. You shine with a radiance the inner eye perceives.
This is the point of suffering: That you learn to redeem it for the blessings hidden therein. It provokes you to find the voice of your Guide within your awareness. You learn to follow and trust that Guide.
Mistakes you learn from are transformed to “experience”. Suffering transformed to blessings is the first experience of your Divine Eternal Nature and your Godly estate. As you label the significance of an event, so shall you experience it. This is real magic: You summon the experience you have of any event with the labels you assign. As treacherous as it can be at times, it is the first subtle witness within this world to your godly estate, and it works outside of time’s constraints, allowing you to transform your past from a bad dream to a great blessing by reassigning significance in retrospect. There is great power in this practice. I call it “The Way of Redemption”: For every seeming tribulation you wait to assign its significance, keeping your mind primed and tuned to seeing the blessings hidden therein.
As a man thinketh, so shall he see and be.
Choose wisely the way you name and judge experiences in this world. Your names and judgements have the power to liberate or confuse your perceptions and your Being.
I love you all and welcome this opportunity to explore inwardly the answers that come from within as we learn together to discern the Voice for Truth/Love. Please feel free to write me at thefiddlersbride@windstream.net.

None sleep...